Procreation

I'm 42 and my husband is 39.

In 12 days it will be our 6th Wedding Anniversary.

We do not have children.

Something very interesting has not occurred since we got married;

no one has ever asked us about kids.

There haven't been any hints, no people or family saying tick tock tick tock or

asking when they were going to hear the pitter patter of little feet.

Does this bother me? Yes and no.

Would I be a good Mother? Would Adam be a good Father?

Absolutely. Without a doubt. Yes.

I will say that I have never been baby crazy.

I don't look in baby carriages that go by.

I don't even think all babies are cute.

Some are, not all are.

Did I think my life would include children?

Absolutely. Without a doubt. Yes.

What has me thinking about all of this is that all of last week on the bus,

a young high school girl had one of those fake babies.

I have such an issue with these things.

The girl was most likely 15 years old and in a school uniform.

Skirt so short that both men and boys can't help but be drawn to stare up it.

(That, by the way, is a whole other issue I could easily write 1000 words about)

She carried this doll that was dressed in a onesie with a very small blanket. 

No diaper bag, just her book bag.

That is what caught my attention last Monday morning

at  6:30am when it was 10 degrees outside.

As we boarded the bus everyday, like clockwork, this doll/baby started

to wail. It sounded like cats mating. It would last exactly 20 minutes.

This young girl did nothing but giggle and say sorry multiple times.

If the seat next to her was empty, she'd put the doll down and stick

a fake bottle in it's mouth. If the bus was full, she'd rock it back

and forth in a manner that would make a real baby cry.

On Friday, she met up with a girlfriend and complained how

she was so tired. This doll/baby has been keeping her up at night and the

crying was getting on her nerves. I get that. My daily 20 minute

exposure to this doll/baby crying was getting on my nerves.

What irked me the most and took everything in me to not react with a look or

a sigh or a change in body posture was when she told her friend, 

" Real babies aren't like this."  

She stated with great enthusiasm that this experience,

if anything, made her realize how much easier a real baby would

be and that she wants one before she's 18.

 " Being a young Mom will be so cool."

One week with a fake baby does not a parent make.

If they really wanted these young girls and young boys to fully understand the impact

having a baby would have, they should have them spend a month

living a true life of a teenage parent, one not supported by his/her parents.

Both girls and boys should have to continue school full time and work.

Perhaps a  retail or minimum wage food service job, because at 16,

what else are you qualified for that will give you flexible hours?

They should have to pay rent, utilities, daycare, do the groceries, buy diapers,

buy a stroller, buy clothes and shoes, allocate enough money for transportation

and all the things that real life entails.

I have always looked at parenthood as a very serious responsibility.
People who have happy healthy children are lucky, they are blessed.

More than anything in the world, I would LOVE to see what little person

Adam and my love for each other would create.

Would he/she have my green eyes & his long eyelashes?

My curly hair & his stubby fingers and toes?

I want to take my child to the library, to dance class, to hockey practice.

I want to go to the Christmas pageant at school & watch him/her sing

Silent Night or Frosty the Snowman.

I fear that Mother Nature has caught up with me, I hear the tick tock & I
know my egg inventory is dwindling down.
At 42, are the eggs that are left past their expiry date?

For now, my maternal instincts will be satisfied by looking after my

fur baby Pug Crockett and I'll leave it up to fate to see what happens next.

If you've never seen them, those fake baby/doll things are really creepy.