Recipients of Generosity

I've had about a half dozen spectacular, memorable and truly meaningful moments in my life.  This week I added an experience to my list.  Adam, Crockett and I were recipients of generosity like never before.

But first, the beginning of the story...

Crockett is about to turn 9 years old.  In the past few weeks, it was like he aged overnight.  His cute little flat pug face is losing it's darkness as grey hair takes over.  He was closing his eyes and almost falling asleep while standing up, lethargic, ravenous, and drinking full bowls of water at a time.  This of course was followed by indoor tinkle accidents.  These were different than the occasional indoor accidents that are the fault of his humans not getting him out quickly enough. These accidents were, after coming in from a walk where his bladder was emptied, to walk into the room we're in, make and hold eye contact, and empty his bladder on the floor. These tinkles also looked different and were sticky.  My alarm went off......Diabetes.

After a weekend of mopping up the floor, I booked Crockett in at the Vet for an appointment on Tuesday.
Diagnosis: Diabetes.  The Vet said that Crockett was 2 days away from requiring hospitalization and potential death due to Ketoacidosis.  Thank goodness we got him to the Vet in time.

What we have been doing since Tuesday is giving Crockett 2 insulin shots a day. He goes back to the Vet tomorrow for some more blood work to check his levels and for us to work with the vet to determine his treatment. I am so thankful that Adam is at home during the day to look after Crockett.

Vet bills are crazy expensive.  With only me working, we are already on a tight budget that does not have any wiggle room at all. None. The stress of financial worry alone has got the better of me lately. Add on to it not only the heartache and stress of a sick pet, but the worry of an expensive condition to treat and well....let's just say my mind has been on overload.

Yesterday at work Adam called me and started the conversation with, " You won't believe when I tell you this. I'm blown away..."  My stomach fell as I was anticipating more bad news.  I almost got irritated and was about to tell him to get to the point when he said, " This is amazing.".

He got a call from the Vet's office and the receptionist said she had good news for us. Was it a misdiagnosis? Is Crockett fine?  Turns out, someone had overheard Adam and I talking to the Vet about treatment options, the cost of diabetes management, and my current financial situation.  We were in the back of the clinic, not talking loudly, and not exposed to people in the waiting room. There were staff moving about but our focus was on the Vet & Crockett. The Vet was teaching and having us dose out the insulin into the needle and then give Crockett saline injections to see how competent we were with the needle. I basically stated that I was willing to do whatever I need to do to look after Crockett in the most cost effective way. Become educated about Diabetes, take blood samples to read and document his blood sugar levels and give him injections ourselves. The Vet even said that he'd be willing to communicate with us via e-mail to review Crockett's data to assess his treatment.

This person who overheard said that it was obvious that we love our dog and was sympathetic to our situation. They donated $500 towards Crockett's Vet bill.

SERIOUSLY! 

When Adam asked who did this for us, the receptionist said that the person wishes to remain anonymous.
I was so taken aback that I started to cry.  This person literally has NO IDEA of the impact they have made.  A stranger helping us just because.  Thinking about it gets me overwhelmed and teary eyed.  Faith in humanity is restored. Not all people suck.

We are the recipients of generosity and kindness. Something that has humbled us and made us realize just how lucky we are to have a portion of Crockett's care covered. We will certainly find a way to Pay It Forward!

Adam will be taking with him to the Vet tomorrow a Thank You card.  The receptionist said she would pass it on for us.  It was difficult to write.  I wanted to convey just how thankful and grateful we are. It doesn't seem like enough of a Thank You. I want to hug this person!

 I drew a small Gemma Correll Pug in the card and enclosed a few photos of Crockett.

How lucky are we?  Wow. Lucky.

Fifteen Minutes More Each Week!

Today as I walked into our apartment, I was so happy to still see the sun peeking through our windows!

The first 2 photos were taken at 5:39pm.

Just a short while after at 6:17pm we have a new moon up high in the sky.

It's now 6:40pm and it's dark.

15 more minutes of daylight every week.  No more leaving home and returning home in the dark!

When does Spring officially arrive?  Wednesday March 20'13. Wow, that is soon!

What I'm Reading

I bought this book a few years back and for whatever reason didn't read it.  I need to learn how to relax and turn my mind off, find a quiet place, and relax.

I started to read it today on the bus on my way home from work and fell asleep!  That is a problem with me lately; if I sit and zone out, I fall asleep.

I'm just searching for a little peace.

My Mom Is Always Looking Out For Me

My Mom called me this morning at work with a heads up;  my horoscope in today's Globe & Mail:

SCORPIO (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22):

The important thing today is that you stay in control of your emotions. 

If you let other people get under your skin bad feelings could 

escalate quickly and there is no telling where you might end up. 

In the cells overnight?

It's almost 3pm and so far so good. I'll put in my ear buds and listen to the Les Mis soundtrack on my bus ride home, keep my eyes down & stay out of trouble.  

More Dreams

Since my headache earlier this week, I have continued to have stranger than usual dreams.  Last night,  I was taking a 2 week trip to London. I was going on my own to see all the notable sights. I've been to Harrods once before but was really excited to go again. Odd as I'm not big on shopping.  I was on one of those huge double deck Aircraft A380's.  As it landed in England, on a highway, and proceeded to drive to the airport to get to the gate, I was crying. I was looking at the London skyline in tears and saying, " I know I should live here. This is where I belong."

When we finally pulled up to the gate to start off loading, I showed my ID, and I didn't have a passport. I thought my Ontario Driver's License should suffice. I had to call my Dad, arrange to have all my ID FedEx'd to him overnight, so he could go get me a temp passport.  I had to stay on the plane for over a day while all this was arranged.  There were other people on board with similar issues so it wasn't so bad. Familiar faces, Anderson Cooper again, he just keeps showing up everywhere!

One very odd thing was that the Airline had given my FedEx envelope of ID to my friend Jenn, who passed away 13 months ago unexpectedly of a brain aneurysm. It was nice to see her (as I often do in my dreams), but I thought to myself that, " She can't be the one to get it to FedEx, what if she dies on the way?".  OK, how fucked up is that?

I finally was allowed off the plane and that is when I woke up.  Sometimes these dreams feel so real.

Like It's Never Been Said Before, To The Point

I saw this posted on a Tumblr account and it had been re-posted numerous times.  I do not feel Depression is humiliating, for me, it is exhausting and sad. There is nothing to be humiliated about by having a medical condition. Would a Diabetic be humiliated? No. Not all, but quite a  few of these, I relate to completely.

 

"Depression is humiliating. 

 

It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation.

Depression is humiliating.

If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.
It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too.

Depression is humiliating.

No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged."

- Pearl

I am hoping that I have got the original source correct.

Monster Headache a Good Dream and a Nightmare

When my alarm went off this morning, I knew it wasn't going to be a good day. I had a headache. The kind where I feel as though I've been smacked in the face with a shovel and hot pins have been poking my eyes.  I was dizzy, nauseous and over sensitive to both light and noise. I took 2 pills and went back to bed.

My mind was on apparent overload today because if I was asleep I was dreaming and when awake, various random memories from my life were playing out like a movie.  They were all over the place and non-stop.

I had a good dream. I was best friends with Anderson Cooper and we were out spending the day together.  We went and had tea and Anne Hathaway was there.  It's hard to remember all the details, but it was good.

I had a nightmare.  I was in the house where I grew up and I was waiting for my parents to arrive home from a trip they'd taken to England.  I was expecting them in the morning but it was now early evening.  The Queen (??) had called me to asked if they'd arrived home as she'd not received a call from my Mother.  I told her they'd not arrived home yet nor had they called me.Then I said that had I not called by now, I'd have been in trouble.  I received a phone call from a woman with an Indian accent who called to say that a man named John (my Dad) was in and out of consciousness, had asked her to call me, and that he was heading into surgery.  He'd been in a plane crash.  When I asked about my Mom, the lady said she knew nothing about my Mom and that my Dad was in a religious hospital in Toronto. I asked where the crash occurred and she said Toronto Pearson.  I started to yell and the lady hung up.  That is when I started to wail and cry.  It was an awful dream, it felt real and I felt helpless and hopeless.  A few other odd foggy details from the dream are lingering in my mind. Needless to say I woke up and immediately called my Mom, bawling and crying as I told her about my dream. 

My parents are going on a trip together to England this summer. I will have to keep myself very busy and preoccupied on the days they're flying as to not go absolutely mental!

My headache has dissipated enough to watch some TV, check my e-mail and write this post.  What I'm going to do now is drink a tall cold glass of water, take some more drugs, have something to eat, get comfy on the couch and hopefully fall asleep and have a peaceful non-dream night.

Links

Here are some of the sites I've been spending time on. Click on the enlarged text for links and enjoy!


I want one of these Novel Prints.  Peter Pan would be my 1st choice.

Keep the sun out and your car cool  like a boss.

I love Flula.  I know what it is but I don't understand either why it's called Catfish.

I am always devastated when Leo dies in his movies. Here's s list of other Actors who frequently die in film.  You know that Sean Bean has to be on this list somewhere!

I can spend hours looking at the beautiful photos on SuicideBlonde's Tumblr.

Fuck Yeah Tom Hardy. No other words are needed.

To finish things off with a little Class. My Sunday night joy.

Seriously, WTF??

Adam came in from taking Crockett out & told me there was a needle stuck in the tree.  It took a few times of us saying back & forth to each other for me to really understand, " A needle stuck in the tree?", " Yes, a needle stuck in the tree."

Grabbed my camera and went outside and  here it is, a needle stuck in the tree. Seriously, WTF?