"Idleness makes hours pass slowly and years swiftly. Activity makes the hours short and the years long." Cesare Pavese, This Business of Living, 1938-12-10
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| One of my many Summer 2013 flower shots taken at Alexander Muir Park. |
I would like to turn things around and have the 2nd half of this quote feel more like my life. Is is so easy to get into a funk & be negative. If only it were as easy to get out of.
There are always several factors. Life wouldn't be life if one thing would fix everything. I do feel that attitude plays a big role and I will be the first to admit that my attitude as of late has been more pessimistic than optimistic. The blues have a good way of giving me an extra kick in the ass when I'm already down.
It's be a very life altering 4 months. I am full of gratitude when it comes to my Mom. I still reflect on how all things happened the way they did resulting in the BEST possible outcome. But then, my Mother has never done anything but put good out into the Universe so....
My eyes have caused me great fear, anxiety, and frustration. I have had several dizzy episodes in the last few weeks. Scanning or moving my eyes quickly from side to side makes me feel like I've just stepped off a merry-go-round. Once I get tired, that's it, I'm done. What has got to me the most and creates the greatest amount of worry is my inability to read for any length of time. I have to stop myself from going off on "what if" worry tangents. They are never good.
Back to the 1st half of the quote, "Idleness makes hours pass slowly and years swiftly."
I have not been idle, but what I have been spending the majority of my waking hours doing, has not been living.
I compare it to the way of life in Montreal vs. Toronto. This is of course from my personal experience. Montreal is more about family, friends, community, activity, enjoying life. Working to live. Where Toronto is about status, who has the best toys, the biggest house, the better career. Living to work.
I do NOT fit into the Toronto mind set. I have NEVER ever wanted to have it all. I can say that my middle class suburban up-bringing was perfect. Sadly, I don't see too much of that around here. We lived in this apartment for 2 years before I ever saw our neighbor! Crazy!
I do realize that I was in my early 20's when I left Montreal but still. The best way I can describe it is Toronto is more American where Montreal is more European.
One thing that I do like about Toronto is the multiculturalism and how different cultures can live and celebrate diversify. Sadly right now, Toronto has a Mayor who is, well, an asshat. I don't want to ever get into that now!
Here's another quote/image I posted on my Facebook page that hit a nerve:
I guess I have to think of another quote when I start to piss and moan and feel bad about my life.
Life is what you make it.
I have some making to do.
