What Is This New Devilry?

I saw a girl reading this on the bus.  All I saw was the title, nothing else.  I thought it was a way of coping with stress through tap dancing.

Being interested in ways of coping with and dealing with stress, I googled it when I got home.  Disappointed that it did not refer to tap dancing, I was however, still intrigued.  There were more than a few videos on YouTube and I read a few articles.  I decided, why not!

I am open minded and willing to look into anything that could naturally help me cope with stress and reduce my headaches.

This is taken from the front inside jacket;

"Tapping, also known as EFT, is a powerful tool for improving your life on multiple levels: mental, emotional, and physical."

"Based on the principles of both ancient acupressure and modern psychology, tapping concentrates on specific meridian end points, while focusing on negative emotions or physical sensations. Combined with spoken word, tapping  helps calm the nervous system to restore the balance of energy in the body and rewire the brain to respond in healthy ways."

I've tried meditation but, can't get the quiet needed, both environmentally and internally, so, tapping is getting a try.

Monster Headache a Good Dream and a Nightmare

When my alarm went off this morning, I knew it wasn't going to be a good day. I had a headache. The kind where I feel as though I've been smacked in the face with a shovel and hot pins have been poking my eyes.  I was dizzy, nauseous and over sensitive to both light and noise. I took 2 pills and went back to bed.

My mind was on apparent overload today because if I was asleep I was dreaming and when awake, various random memories from my life were playing out like a movie.  They were all over the place and non-stop.

I had a good dream. I was best friends with Anderson Cooper and we were out spending the day together.  We went and had tea and Anne Hathaway was there.  It's hard to remember all the details, but it was good.

I had a nightmare.  I was in the house where I grew up and I was waiting for my parents to arrive home from a trip they'd taken to England.  I was expecting them in the morning but it was now early evening.  The Queen (??) had called me to asked if they'd arrived home as she'd not received a call from my Mother.  I told her they'd not arrived home yet nor had they called me.Then I said that had I not called by now, I'd have been in trouble.  I received a phone call from a woman with an Indian accent who called to say that a man named John (my Dad) was in and out of consciousness, had asked her to call me, and that he was heading into surgery.  He'd been in a plane crash.  When I asked about my Mom, the lady said she knew nothing about my Mom and that my Dad was in a religious hospital in Toronto. I asked where the crash occurred and she said Toronto Pearson.  I started to yell and the lady hung up.  That is when I started to wail and cry.  It was an awful dream, it felt real and I felt helpless and hopeless.  A few other odd foggy details from the dream are lingering in my mind. Needless to say I woke up and immediately called my Mom, bawling and crying as I told her about my dream. 

My parents are going on a trip together to England this summer. I will have to keep myself very busy and preoccupied on the days they're flying as to not go absolutely mental!

My headache has dissipated enough to watch some TV, check my e-mail and write this post.  What I'm going to do now is drink a tall cold glass of water, take some more drugs, have something to eat, get comfy on the couch and hopefully fall asleep and have a peaceful non-dream night.

Yesterday

5:00am  Wake up before alarm with a crippling headache.  A hit in the face with a shovel kind of pain.

5:10am  Take 2 Extra Strength Tylenol

5:11am - 5:30am  Sit on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands.

6:30am   Ready for work, about to walk out the door to catch the bus.

6:35am  Can't do it. Can't function. Head is pounding. Dizzy & nauseous.

6:40am  Leave a message for my boss, won't be in. I hate calling in sick. 

6:41am  Back in bed

11:00am  Wake up with throbbing head. Did drugs work? Wear off already?

11:05am  Took 2 more pills with a gulp of tea. Sat in the bathroom running hot water for the steam.

11:10am  Back in bed

4:30pm  Wake up with throbbing head. Did drugs work? Wear off already? Took 1 of my prescription headache pills. Adam tells me I should get out of bed.  Sit up & eat or drink something.

4:45pm  Pain so intense it makes me cry. Adam rubs my head.

5:00pm  Adam serves me a bowl of tomato soup.

5:30pm  On & off nausea, can't finish the soup.

5: 40pm  Run to the bathroom & vomit.  Feels like my eyes have popped out of my head. Want to die.

5:45pm  Brush teeth

6:30pm  Adam serves me a bowl of chicken noodle soup. I keep it down. YAY. Head still throbbing.

For the rest of the evening I sat on the couch with Adam snuggling in my dressing gown and watching movies.  I was too hot, then too cold, the too hot, then too cold. I didn't take any more drugs for fear of getting nauseous again.

When I went to bed, there was still a dull ache.

I woke up this morning the same dull ache and my eyes are very light sensitive and achy, but I don't think it's anything that a walk in the fresh air with Crockett and a warm bowl of homemade rice pudding won't cure.

I'll most likely spend the rest of the day laying on my bed, listening to classical music on a very low volume, with my winter hat down over my eyes.  It keeps my head toasty warm and the light from hitting my eyes like laser beams.  I'll look like the dumb Donald from Fat Albert, minus the eye holes!

Helping Out The Pathologist

There are times where I really think I'm a nut-bar.

This morning I've been having what I call "Brain Stab" headache pain.

It's a headache that is not a constant ache but the occasional stabbing pain

that causes me to either say ouch out loud of flinch a bit.

This type of pain makes me nervous.

They make me think aneurysm.

Here is where I'm a nut-bar.....

I have taken my sharpie pen & made dots

on my head where it hurts.

That way, I figure, if I drop dead, the Pathologist

will know where to look.

Seriously, why do the y-incision and got through all

my organs when all they'd need to do is crack open my head!

See?  Nut-bar!

I Got My Zzzzzz's

I went to bed fairly early last night.

Adam put Hope Floats in the DVD player for

me and I was out before Birdie made it back to Smithville.

On weekends especially, with our bedroom window facing the

street, I hear too many noises that spook me.

When people walk by & talk when it is quiet out, it

sometimes sounds like they are in my room standing next to me.

DVDs are a good way to trick my brain that everything is ok

and I can fall asleep peacefully.

Crockett was up bright and early this morning at 7am and he did that

thing where he stands right next to the bed and I can feel his stare.

As soon as I open my eyes and we've made eye contact, he spins in

place and goes a bit mental.

This means

A: He needs water in his bowl

B: He's hungry & wants his breakfast

C: He wants to go outside & do his business

Today, it was all 3.

I got up & went right to the kitchen to prepare his meal.

While he was eating I splashed cold water on my face so I could

face the outside world & take him for a tinkle.

As soon as we were back inside, I was back in bed.

I had a headache but one I thought more sleep would alleviate.

I woke up again around 11am and I had a full on

headache as well as a grumbling belly. I was hungry.

I took 2 Excedrin and made scrambled eggs.

My headache was right in my eyes & watching TV hurt as I was very light sensitive.

I turned it off & sat there in the living room with the curtains drawn.

Took 2 more Excedrin.

I woke up on the couch at 7:00pm.

At least my headache was gone.

Now there was just the sense of dread and waste to deal with.

I hate sleeping the weekends away.

I know I needed it and my body feels better, but still.

From Monday - Friday I spend 40 hours at work and 17 to 20 hours

on the bus/subway on my way to and from work.

The weekends are all I have.

This weekend I accomplished absolutely nothing.

I hate that.

Adam was able to sit in his man cave all day in

his underwear on his forum without me nagging him.

At least one of us had a good day.

Strange Day

Today was a strange day.

I hit the snooze button one too many times this morning and that

resulted in my falling back asleep and having weird morning dreams.

I was going up an escalator naked.

When I got to the top I grabbed 2 boxes, one to cover the front & the other for the back.

I woke up mortified.

I love having summer hours and leaving work at 1:00pm on Friday

but at times, it messes up my internal clock.

When I got to work I thought it was Monday.

I fell asleep on the bus on my way home & when I woke up

I thought I was on my way to work.

We did groceries on the way home and I thought it was Saturday.

Plantar Fasciitis has returned in my right foot and it hurts like

a motherf**ker. There's no other way to say it.

Every step feels like I'm being stabbed in the heel.

It makes me walk differently so now my ankle is sore too.

Wah wah wah.

We went & saw a movie tonight,

Captain America - it was really good.

Reminder - Marvel Films you must ALWAYS stay until the credits are done, ALWAYS.

When we left the theater I didn't know what time it was

and I wondered why it was dark.

I'm now not feeling 100% as I feel a dull headache coming on.

Hopefully I'll sleep well as I want to work on a craft project tomorrow.

Nice lazy long weekend Saturday.

A Lump on the Couch

I wanted to go visit with my Mom & Dad

today but have felt under the weather for the last few days.

Friday, even after a dose of prescription pain killer, I had

a headache that wouldn't subside.

My right eye watered all day.

To ease the throbbing I had to close my right eye

tight & tilt my head.

The bus ride home was very unpleasant.

I think I need to get a pair of sunglasses this summer

as my eyes have become more sensitive to light.

I've also had a sore throat. So much so that I asked

Adam if I've been snoring lately as it is especially raw

in the morning when I wake up.

My Dad sounded like Kathleen Turner at the beginning

of the week and had Bronchitis with perhaps a 

touch of Pneumonia.

My boss has also had a cold and was off sick Thursday so

if I am on the verge of getting something, I don't want to give

it to my Dad or my Mom.

Hopefully, it'll be nice next weekend for Easter as they're

spending it with their Grandchildren. I hope to get

them over here for an hour or so to take a nice walk in the

park with myself & Crockett.

I also have a short week with Friday off,

which is nice. Really nice.

Plus Adam has been looking forward to a long weekend.

Being a Domestic Engineer is tiring.

He asked me a few weeks back when the next long weekend

was as he needs a break. He's a funny guy.

I love my husband. He kills me, in a good way!

Adam has been a dear and done all the shopping and chores.

I have been a lump on the couch thoroughly enjoying

a Harry Potter Marathon.

The Philosopher's Stone and

The Prisoner of Azkaban are still my favorites.

Gary Oldman.....love him.

Apple Loaf

I had an uncomfortable day Saturday.

Bruxism got the better of me and I woke up

with my shovel to the face feeling headache.

On my last visit to the MD she gave me a prescription for something

a little stronger than OTC pain relievers.

Sadly, the prescription is sitting in my drawer.

3 doses of Extra Strength Motrin didn't do it.

A hot facecloth on the forehead is in order.

Note to self:  Stop procrastinating.

I wasn't really in the mood to cook anything for dinner.

Adam did himself a fast fry steak so he was good.

I settled for a bowl of porridge.

Sadly, I added too much water & it was more like oatmeal soup.

As I had to stay in the kitchen to watch and stir my oatmeal in the

hopes it would thicken, I decided to bake a cake.

My Mom gave me the cookbook: 

Company's Coming: Muffins & More

by Jean Paré

I decided on this, only I don't have a loaf pan.

Since I used a square pan, I didn't bake it for 60 minutes.

I reduced it to 40 minutes and it was perfect.

Also, being that I'm allergic to nuts, I left them out

and didn't substitute them with anything else.

It came out of the pan cleanly and solid.

The top is good and crunchy and the inside with the grated

apple is really moist.

It cut really well and both Adam & I enjoyed it.

If I can create this while watching and stirring my oatmeal

almost non-stop, ANYONE can do it.

I'm 2 for 2 lately with my baking!

Nothing burned and completely yummy.

Which is good, because my oatmeal never fully recovered

and was not quite edible.

I had a square of Apple Loaf for dinner.

Sunday's breakfast?  Oatmeal.

Something I've started to do recently is write in my cookbooks

on the page, the date I made the recipe.

I don't know why.

Just because.

Nightmares

I have had a dull headache for the past 2 days that is a

combination of my Bruxism and the dry winter air.

I have a very achy Mandible and sore upper eye sockets.

Extra Strength Tylenol don't work for me anymore either.

I tend to clench my jaw & grind my teeth more when

stressed or if I don't sleep well.

In the past week, for the first time since I

can't remember when, I've had 2 nightmares and I've also not

had a night with a good solid 8 hours of sleep.

Work has been busy (NOT complaining) and it takes me longer to

come down and turn my brain off when I get home.

The first nightmare was so scary I woke up feeling terrified and my

stomach was quivering and nervous.

I cannot understand why I had this dream or

anything that it is connected to.

I haven't watched any scary movies lately.

I was outside a small house in a secluded area with a long gravel driveway. 

I saw a body that was hacked up.

There was no head. The arms and legs were detached and

next to the torso that was cut in half.

It looked like a ham. 

Bone in the middle surrounded by flesh.

A guy who looked like Vin Diesel came out of the house, in a wife beater

and jeans with crazy eyes covered in blood yelling,

" Where is Joanne? I need to kill Joanne."

I ran down the driveway and hid behind a bush.

As he was running towards me and saw me.....I woke up.

The second nightmare makes more sense only because I've been falling

asleep with various Harry Potter movies in the DVD player lately.

I was 8 months pregnant and Ralph Fiennes was chasing me.

When I finally got away from him, I went to the hospital because

I thought I was having contractions.

Ralph Fiennes was the doctor!!! I tried running away but he

kept on hugging me and telling me I still had a month to go.

It was one of those dreams that was all over the place.

What made it a nightmare was when I was being chased.

I kept thinking he was going to hurt my baby.

Plus, Ralph Fiennes has always given me the creeps.

Perfectly cast as He Who Must Not Be Named.

 It is 10:59pm right now.

I am going to add a Christmas Ornament photo

and then go to bed!

My wooden Santa Collection.

 

Headache

I woke this morning with a headache.

One that after 2 doses of pain medication hasn't subsided.

I suffer with Bruxism.

I clench my jaw unconsciously during the day

and grind my teeth at night.

I wear a dead sexy mouth guard when I sleep but it doesn't make it not grind,

it just protects my teeth from further damage.

My future holds some pretty extensive dental work no doubt.

Sometimes the guard makes the pain worse as it places my jaw

 in an unnatural position so when it grinds....just.....owwww.

My fear, along with grinding my teeth so that they fit together like

pieces of a puzzle, is that I will ultimately get Arthritis in my jaw.

The headaches I suffer with are similar to tension and sinus headaches

but the pain feels like it's deep in my skeleton, in my bones and

my face and head just ache.
Sometimes it makes me nauseous, dizzy and sensitive to light.
Today, it's just throbbing ache.

Here's a visual aid:

I am going to go sit on the couch & bury my head in a pillow with the
occasional hot face cloth application and
wait this thing out.