Radvent 12/7

I've never been a big traveler.

It wasn't something I was interested in but

I love reading books about far off and distant lands.

I love history and museums and architecture and art and documentaries.

There are places, as I age, that I realize I must visit.

I really want to go to the Grand Canyon.

I want to see both the Mona Lisa & the ceiling 

of the Sisteen Chapel with my own eyes.

Radvent 12/6

This is a good topic for me.

I am not going to write a post.

I am going to log off the computer

and START the knitting I've been wanting to start

for the last couple of weeks.

Click HERE to learn more about Radvent.

A Visitor at the Window

I was fast asleep, it was just midnight and

Adam came in and woke me up by saying there

was a Raccoon at our kitchen window.

I was up, grabbed my glasses and camera

and took the 12 steps from my side of the

bed to the kitchen entrance.

This is what I saw.

I was excited and terrified!

It was so cute and so scary.

Not full grown, smaller than Crockett.

Sitting on the window sill to get out of the rain.

That was my one window I was ok leaving open

if I wasn't in the room.

Not any more!

He's a city Raccoon!

Radvent 12/5

I thought I'd doodle a few Christmasy things

to help me get in the festive mood.

Sadly, not happening.

Except now I want to eat a Candy Cane!

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95 Questions to Help You Find Meaning and Happiness

 Another thought provoking post on Marc and Angel Hack Life full of self discovery questions.

Some of these require deep thought and extreme honesty.

I think it's healthy to ask ourselves these kinds of questions

every now and then to check in on where we are compared to where we want to be.

Sometimes day to day life gets in the way of personal growth.

1. In one sentence, who are you?
2. Why do you matter?
3. What is your life motto?
4. What’s something you have that everyone wants?
5. What is missing in your life?
6. What’s been on your mind most lately?
7. Happiness is a ________?
8. What stands between you and happiness?
9. What do you need most right now?
10. What does the child inside you long for?
11. What is one thing right now that you are totally sure of?
12. What’s been bothering you lately?
13. What are you scared of?
14. What has fear of failure stopped you from doing?
15. What will you never give up on?
16. What do you want to remember forever?
17. What makes you feel secure?
18. Which activities make you lose track of time?
19. What’s the most difficult decision you’ve ever made?
20. What’s the best decision you’ve ever made?
21. What are you most grateful for?
22. What is worth the pain?
23. In order of importance, how would you rank: happiness, money, love, health, fame?
24. What is something you’ve always wanted, but don’t yet have?
25. What was the most defining moment in your life during this past year?
26. What’s the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months?
27. What’s the number one thing you want to achieve in the next five years?
28. What is the biggest motivator in your life right now?
29. What will you never do?
30. What’s something you said you’d never do, but have since done?
31. What’s something new you recently learned about yourself?
32. What do you sometimes pretend to understand that you really do not?
33. In one sentence, what do you wish for your future self?
34. What worries you most about the future?
35. When you look into the past, what do you miss most?
36. What’s something from the past that you don’t miss at all?
37. What recently reminded you of how fast time flies?
38. What is the biggest challenge you face right now?
39. In one word, how would you describe your personality?
40. What never fails to frustrate you?
41. What are you known for by your friends and family?
42. What’s something most people don’t know about you?
43. What’s a common misconception people have about you?
44. What’s something a lot of people do that you disagree with?
45. What’s a belief you hold with which many people disagree?
46. What’s something that’s harder for you than it is for most people?
47. What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend?
48. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?
49. When you think of ‘home,’ what, specifically, do you think of?
50. What’s the most valuable thing you own?
51. If you had to move 3000 miles away, what would you miss most?
52. What would make you smile right now?
53. What do you do when nothing else seems to make you happy?
54. What do you wish did not exist in your life?
55. What should you avoid to improve your life?
56. What is something you would hate to go without for a day?
57. What’s the biggest lie you once believed was true?
58. What’s something bad that happened to you that made you stronger?
59. What’s something nobody could ever steal from you?
60. What’s something you disliked when you were younger that you truly enjoy today?
61. What are you glad you quit?
62. What do you need to spend more time doing?
63. What are you naturally good at?
64. What have you been counting or keeping track of recently?
65. What has the little voice inside your head been saying lately?
66. What’s something you should always be careful with?
67. What should always be taken seriously?
68. What should never be taken seriously?
69. What are three things you can’t get enough of?
70. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
71. What fascinates you?
72. What’s the difference between being alive and truly living?
73. What’s something you would do every day if you could?
74. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
75. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
76. What makes you feel incomplete?
77. When did you experience a major turning point in your life?
78. What or who do you wish you lived closer to?
79. If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?
80. What’s something you know you can count on?
81. What makes you feel comfortable?
82. What’s something about you that has never changed?
83. What will be different about your life in exactly one year?
84. What mistakes do you make over and over again?
85. What do you have a hard time saying “no” to?
86. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
87. What’s something that used to scare you, but no longer does?
88. What promise to yourself do you still need to fulfill?
89. What do you appreciate most about your current situation?
90. What’s something simple that makes you smile?
91. So far, what has been the primary focus of your life?
92. How do you know when it’s time to move on?
93. What’s something you wish you could do one more time?
94. When you’re 90-years-old, what will matter to you the most?
95. What would you regret not fully doing, being, or having in your life?

Radvent 12/4

I am a caring person.

I care about and for people.

I take care of Crockett.

If someone I love needs caring for, I'd be the first

one there, no questions asked.

For a long time I didn't care for myself.

I've started to change that.

I realize that in order to be able to care for others

I need to care for myself.

I used to care about what other people's opinions were more than my own.

Thank goodness with age and experience and listening to my

inner voice, I've come to realize that there are 

opinions that matter and opinions that don't.

Click HERE to learn more about Radvent.

Radvent 12/3

 I don't think I am a fascinating person.

I don't have a special or unique talent.

I haven't travelled to far off destinations and

I don't have wordly stories to tell.

I don't feel that people are drawn to me in 

social or group situations.

I do however still possess and am filled with fascination.

I am fascinated by many things.

I am interested in many things.

I like to talk about and learn about different things.

I am fascinated by Crockett.

I would love to know, just for 5 minutes, what it is like

to see the world from his dog perspective.

I am fascinated by nature.

I am fascinated by weather and clouds.

I am fascinated by stars.

When I go places, I look at and take in the details.

I'm the person who can leave a room after 5 minutes

and tell you everything that was in that room.

When I look at art or paintings I normally start from the outside in.

I hope I am able to maintain this level of fascination & awe with life as I age.

 Click HERE to learn more about Radvent.

We Tried

Crockett and I didn't make the Dog party today.

Not for a lack of trying.

The Subway just didn't cooperate with us and

I seemed to not take into consideration that

being December everyone would be out shopping.

The subway was packed full of people and bags.

Then there was a delay due to passenger assistance

on a train that has us at a dead stop in the middle

of a tunnel for 15 minutes.

By the time we started moving again, we'd traveled only 5 of 23 stops.

I'd had enough.

We got off and came back home.

 It's beautiful outside and we had a nice

leisurely walk home from the Subway Station.

(See Project 365 for Crockett bumping into Wilson)

With the warm weather & lack of snow,

there are many fat happy squirrels about.

When we got home it felt as though we'd been

out forever and accomplished nothing.

At least we both got fresh air.

Radvent 12/2

The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you've lost it. Anonymous

As a teenager, I was always busy. School, friends, figure skating, swimming, band, volleyball, badminton, soccer and the list goes on.  I was lucky, it was the 80's. I had no issue with balance and a large part of that was due to a Mom who took such great care of me and let me sleep in on the weekends.

My 20's were tough.  I had moved away from where I grew up, away from all my friends and all that I knew. My job for the first few years was a 4pm - 11pm shift. That didn't give me too much time for a social life. I didn't have a problem with balance per se, I had no balance. I had no life.

By my mid 30's, I was happily married and for the first time in a long time I felt as though I had a life/work balance.  That was it, it was a life/work balance. Not a life/work/recreational balance. 

I'm now 43 years old and a total homebody. I even enjoy being by myself sometimes, I need it. I need that quiet time to just think, walk, enjoy nature, breathe deeply. It's the LIFE part of the equation that brings me the most joy and happiness. The LIFE part for me is family, home, sharing the tasks of daily life with Adam. I admit, I am too comfortable with my lack of social/recreational activities and that is the part of the balance equation I will be working on in the coming year. I'm thinking maybe a book club or an art & crafts group, maybe a yoga class.

I will say that if I ever do feel off balance, I sleep.  I mean a weekend sleep marathon. Those are the best.

* * *

The 3 most important things I need to do this evening are:

1. Give Crockett a bath.  

We are going to a Dog Party tomorrow. He got an invitation from my boss's dog Sasha the Sheltie to attend her 10th birthday party. There'll be 5 dogs there. I have NO IDEA what to expect. If nothing else it'll give me good material for a blog post :) I will of course take my camera with me.

2. Sort the laundry.

The laundry has been neglected this week. The overflowing hamper is making me mental crazy go-nuts.

3. Be in bed and asleep by midnight. 

No sitting in front of my lap top into the wee hours of the morning.

 Click HERE to learn more about Radvent.

Radvent Blog Journaling Project 2011

One of my favorite blogs, that I've mentioned several times

on my blog and has given me inspiration is Alycia's

The Curious Pug

I have her button over there to the right- - - - >

Alycia is participating again this year in

Princess Lasertron's Radvent 2011

and I think I too will participate.

 

What is challenging you the most right now?

Honestly, it has been day to day life. Everything seems to be a struggle. I feel overwhelmed more often than not.  I don't know where to begin and I end up shutting down and watching movies to escape reality. 

- The Mr. has been out of work now for longer than expected. I stress about ends meeting.

- My 20+ hour a week public transit commute to work sucks the life out of me.

- I suffer with depression that gets a little more difficult to cope with this time of year with the lack of sunlight.

- My pants are a bigger size than I'd like and I just can't seem to keep my nutrition on track.

- I haven't really moved my body or worked up a real sweat in what feels like forever.

- I'm neglecting the laundry and I hate hate hate when it piles up.

- One of the most challenging things I face lately is staying kind and not turning into a total bitch.

...and how can you be grateful for it?

I am grateful for how I have handled these challenges. I have focused on the positive, been grateful for what we do have, counted my blessings and started doing things that give me joy, like knitting, drawing, painting, reading and taking photographs. I am grateful because what all of these challenges have shown me is that I have a solid and loving marriage.  I am strong. I am resilient. I have a few people in my life who really care about, love me and have helped my through my challenges in so many ways (Thanks Mom & Dad!). I am on medication that helps me and hasn't turned me into a zombie. Mostly I am grateful that the majority of these challenges are temporary.

Reflect on one challenging thing in the past year that you kicked butt at.

Dealing with my depression and anxiety.  I did not want to go on medication. Previous medications helped with the sadness and melancholy but they took away all emotion. I was scared that would happen again. I finally opened up to my MD, told her everything and we made a plan together. Dealing with the depression took away the anxiety.

...what would you have told yourself?

There is nothing wrong with admitting you need help and asking for it.

Journal 3 times each week of December.

Although I have this blog, I still keep a written journal and 3 times a week is an excellent attainable goal.