My Muse

Dearest Blog, you are not forgotten.  Truth is, my little 4 legged fur bundle was my Muse. 

He used to sit with me as I sat here writing. I'd take a break and cuddle or play or nap with him. He lead me to the park and to the flowers I would photograph. We explored the neighbourhood, side streets, parkettes, and ravines together. I haven't been in the park or on a neighbourhood walk since he passed.

Today is the 1st day of Daylight Savings Time. It is also the first day in a long while that the temperature got above zero.  Today was perfect dog walking weather.

I had feelings of jealousy seeing people out with their dogs. Lucky bastards.

I miss Crockett everyday.  The last few weeks when I've come home or gone into the living room to sit down, I almost expect to see him sitting there looking up at me.

He was a sweet lovely Pug and companion.

Snow and Paw Prints

We got our first snow of the season this past week.  It was always a time I looked forward to as Crockett loved it.  He would always go nuts and seem so happy to have snow under his feet after the hot asphalt of summer.

It was especially great the first few days before the salt trucks would make their way onto the roads and sidewalks.

Walking home in the evening I came upon a few paw prints in the snow and it made me cry. I miss Crockett. I miss his presence. I miss the joy he brought me. I even miss his snoring.  I haven't been able to go into the park yet. That may take a while longer.

At least I was photo happy and have wonderful memories of him. Here's his first snow of 2012!

October 27, 2014 Municipal Election Day.

Today was just one of those days.  Every task seemed to take longer than it should.  There were too many things to take care of and not enough time.

Today is election day here in Toronto.  Finally our chance to get rid of Rob Ford and Doug Ford. FINALLY.

I will say however, that I did not vote strategically. I struggled with it for a good 4 weeks. Had plenty of discussions with family, read the candidates platforms, watched far too many debates, and spent a crazy amount of time on Twitter with my new community of anti-Ford, pro-Toronto Twitter friends. So many people are voting Tory to get rid of Ford. Believe me, I want to get rid of every member of the Ford family from Toronto politics and news, but I could not vote for a conservative. If there was no Ford in the race, I would NEVER vote for John Tory.  His Smart-track plan, in my opinion, is to move people from the suburbs into the city core and back home again.  He neglected the whole Northwest corner of the city where I spend 3 hours a day on a bus and where there is more than one priority neighbourhood. It is not a plan at all to help Torontonians move around the city.

My candidate is Olivia Chow.  I voted for who I want the Mayor of Toronto to be. Where I am in the world and life, she is my best representative. The polls close at 8pm so by 9pm.....I'm sick just thinking about it.

Today is one of those days where a 20 minute cuddle and fuss of Crockett would make my day perfect. I miss him every day. I miss him today.

Unorganized

99.9% of the time Crockett & I were out walking, I had my camera with me.  I've taken so many photos of Crockett, the park, flowers, the neighbourhood, Adam, the sky, and everything in between.

What I did not do was organize my photos well. Actually, at all.  I fear it'll take me at least until Christmas to get all my files in order. I will admit, being unorganized like this is causing me a little bit of anxiety.

What I'm experiencing right now is a pain that is still too close to the surface to just click & file.  Every photo I look at makes the memories flood in. It really is lovely to have so many photos and videos of Crockett.  I wish I had as many of my previous 4 legged lovelies; Max, Sheba, and Candy.

I saw a post on Facebook today that said, " Every dog should have a home and every home should have a dog.", and I completely agree.  I am not one to rush about and get another dog.  To each his own when it comes to this, but for me, I need to grieve, remember, reflect, and let time pass before jumping back in.

Pet ownership is a great responsibility. One that I do not take lightly. NEVER would I want a pet as a gift, or as a surprise.  Also, pet care is costly and if you can't cover the monthly insurance and upkeep costs, you have no business getting a pet.

Here are just a few I've come across while filing. He really was adorable :)

Crockett

We lost our sweet boy 8 days ago.  He was a sweet loving Pug who wanted nothing more than to be around his people.  His people loved him very much and are heart broken and missing him.

I want to write about it but am still too fragile.  It has been a very emotional week. Some people just do not understand the emotions involved when one loses a pet and that's okay.

Pugs (and all dogs really) make your heart grow so that it hurts even more when it breaks.  I am not a religious person, but there is a part of me I admit, that hopes there is a heaven so I can see all my 4 legged lovelies again one day.

Crockett at the Park

Our sweet blind Crockett.

Social Media Break

I did it.  Today, I've decided to take a Social Media break for the rest of August.  I got a Blackberry through work and turned into a person I never thought I would - one who had their nose forever looking down at their phone.

With all this Toronto Mayoral election nonsense, I'd become addicted to Twitter.  My Twitter feed was keeping me updated and engaged on my way to & from work. I have learned more about municipal politics than I ever cared to. Let us just say I am not a Rob Ford supporter, not now, not ever.  To get away from it for the remainder of the month will be a very nice break. No Facebook and no Twitter.

I will of course, continue to watch the news and read newspapers, the way we did in the "olden days".  There is too much going on in the world to be ignorant.

I did get a new release from the library that I'd placed on hold, The Book of Life - Deborah Harkness.  It is the last book in the All Souls Trilogy.  I only have it for 2 weeks so I'll have to get on it.

It'll also be nice to get back focused on taking pictures and giving my blog life. I won't be taking any time off work so I'll need to make the most of the remaining summer weekends.

Poor sweet Crockett has pretty much completely lost his vision.  He doesn't enjoy walking on the sidewalk but is okay once we get into the park.  I can't drop the leash and let him wander as he could hurt himself, or he will just stand there looking around for me when I'm right next to him.  His hearing seems to be not as good either.  He's our sweet old boy who is enjoying cuddles more now than ever.  I think he likes knowing we're close.

Adam and I have felt a lot better lately than either of us have in a while. We're on a "clean house" kick.  I've still got a cupboard to go through and get rid of anything I haven't worn in 12 months. I don't have tons of clothes or shoes, I'm sensible that way. There are a few items that I've been holding onto that I'm going to part with, the "I'll fit into them again someday" items. Of course there are a few classics and favorites I'll never part with. My goal is simplicity. I hate clutter, it shuts me down.

Lastly, I've been eating less and less meat which is good. By the time winter rolls around, I want to have mastered a few meatless recipes because as much as I enjoy a good juicy hamburger now and again, I just don't want to eat meat.

I have to find some good vegetarian recipe sites.  I know why I don't want to eat meat and I don't want sites that continually talk about factory farming or the slaughter of animals. I'll have to become familiar with the cook book section at the library.

What Day Is It?

Wow, has time passed by so very quickly.  March has been a blur. March has been cold. March has been tough on Crockett. March has pulled at my heart strings.

Our boy has been suffering due to Collapsed Trachea.  What was previously misdiagnosed as Kennel Cough was in fact Collapsed Trachea.  It happens in smaller breeds and it is just another joy of Pug parenthood.

It has been something he's lived with for 5 years now.  He would have the odd episode, more often than not after running around at the park, or climbing the stairs.  He'd cough a few times, then carry on his way like nothing ever happened.

Earlier last week, we thought we were going to have to say goodbye to our boy.  He spent the better part of 2 days and nights having 20 minute episodes with a cough (goose honk) at every exhale.  He would maybe be lucky to get 30 minutes of respite between sessions.

After a visit to the vet, he was put on an antibiotic to clear his lungs - thankfully he didn't have pneumonia, just a bit of fluid build up.  He was also given Hycodan to suppress his cough and give him some relief.

These drugs alone didn't do the job so we went back to the vet for the next option.  A face mask and puffer (corticosteroid).  Well, WOOHOO, this trifecta of medications has worked.  We have had a weekend with a happy, non-coughing, Pug and even more happy Mommy & Daddy.

Next week is April. Wow, only 9 months 'til Christmas!

Crockett and Friends

It isn't as cold today as it has been these last few days.  The wind is going to pick up later this afternoon so I took Crockett out with the hopes we'd be out for longer than 5 minutes.  It was Crockett's choice.

After he relieved himself, rather than turning back to the door, he walked towards the park. I was anxious he'd think twice & head back but no, he kept on walking.

Once in the park, the trees protected us from the light wind. It was snowing and it was perfect. Both Crockett & I were happy to be outside.

It was then I heard a loud low woof. The woof only a Basset Hound can emit.  Then, Crockett was surrounded by friends. He perked up, ran a few circles, became bouncy, and had a smile on his face.

On our way home, the Sun was trying to peek through the clouds.

The amount of salt on the sidewalk makes these boots mandatory.

Going back up the stairs was harder than sliding down them!

The perfect Canadian winter dog walking photo!

Friends!

Daisy - 6 months old. Pure joy!

Let the Sun shine!

Walking Crockett, being outside, and watching Dogs play heals my soul and makes me temporarily forget my woes. It was a perfect 30 minutes.

Cuddle Pug

It's a cold windy and sometimes snowing Sunday.  No better reason to have a Pug on my lap.  He lets me make a fuss of him. I'm lucky.

Snowy Sunday

I haven't really had issue with the really cold weather this past week. As long as I was wrapped up well, it wasn't too bad.  Friday morning waiting for the bus at the station was the coldest I got on my cheeks and forehead, which were the only part of me exposed.  By the afternoon, the sun was shining, which always makes a difference.

Today, before the snow started, it was nice out.  I wish I had a really good winter coat, and snowpants because it's been so nice I've wanted to go for a walk.

Next winter, I want this, and in red:

Source

I'm still reading my Tapping book and looking forward to finishing it so I can put it into practice.  I haven't felt great since last night and I really want to just feel better. Although I am so happy I had time off at Christmas, what I'd really love is to have a proper holiday. Go somewhere.  Sit in front of a huge fireplace in a chalet looking out over the snow, or under an umbrella on a white sand beach, or sleeping in a castle in a room with a dark wood canopy bed and velvet drapes.

Back to reality....

As much as I'd like to hibernate and do nothing for the next 3 months, I know it's in my best interest to stay active. Keep moving. Keep my mind busy. Spring will arrive soon enough.

Crockett doesn't enjoy walking in his booties.  He likes it better than salt on his paws, but he just isn't all in yet.  Our walk today only lasted about 7 minutes.

Pretty. I like green & orange.

This is why we won't have a real tree. Crockett'd pee on it for sure!

Crockett makes me happy. He's so cute!

Christmas 2013

I woke up this morning, pulled back the curtain & was happy to see big fluffy snowflakes falling.  I love it when it snows Christmas Day.

Last year I bought Crockett a sweater that was too big.  This year I bought Crockett a sweater that is too small.  Poor thing looked like he was out in the cold in a muscle shirt.

I am devastated by what the ice storm did to my favorite trees.  

They lost so many branches.  

I feel like Treebeard when he came upon Isengard.  

(LOTR reference for those not in the know)

This is Crockett at the base of the trees.  So so sad.

These are a few shots around the same area I took the ice photos last Sunday.  

It is still so awful and so beautiful at the same time.

These are from the Parkette across the street, I don't even dare venture in there. 

Not only are there still many branches that look like they could

snap at any moment, the snow is covering pure ice.  

I'd break something no doubt.

Lastly, the driveway of the park leading down to the Tennis and Lawn Bowling club is closed.  

A wee little black squirrel is noshing on something - an apple or an orange.  

I didn't want to get too close and disturb its feast.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Crockett's New Boots

I FINALLY got some boots for Crockett that I can get on his feet without a 20 minute production. They're called all weather Muttluks. They take 5 minutes to get on & he doesn't get worked up or stressed at all.

I did take video of him walking with them that made Adam & I laugh out loud, but we were in our jammies and no one needs to see that!

He got the hang of it after a bit but would still every one in a while stop, extend a leg, and look at me with a wtf expression.

It took him a few tries to successfully do steps without tripping himself up.  These boots are PERFECT and have given Crockett his walks back.  Being on a major street, the second we step out onto the sidewalk, it is covered with salt.  Good for me, bad for pug paws.

This and That

With the time change, I turned into a Bear in that I feel it's time to hibernate.  Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining.  The weather has been wonderful.  It's Nov 17'13 and I'm sitting here next to an open window wearing a t-shirt, and enjoying the breeze!

By the time 8pm rolls around and it's dark out, I'm ready for sleep.  I've hit the pillow every night early for the past 2 weeks.  The plus side is that I'm back to waking up early on the weekend.  Today I was up @ 6:30am.  Crockett was fed and walked, and I'd done 5 loads of laundry by 10am.

It's also a time of year when I like to cozy up with a good book. My eyes are still not 100% so I have to make sure I only read for 15-20 mins at a time.  Otherwise, I look up from the pages and just can't scan or see properly. Scary.

I cut my hair. Pixie cut. LOVE it and so does Adam. I feel so much better and tidier with short hair. My greys are really shiny and look almost silver. I'm happy with them and I will NOT dye my hair!

Here are some randoms from the past few weeks.

These first three were taken yesterday. What a PERFECT day!

I sat on the bench & let Crockett take his time.

From same bench, I took a shot of our building.  They've just announced they are building a roof top terrace. Fingers crossed it'll be lovely with a great view of the park!

Toronto Light Pole decorations.  They are beautiful but call me traditional, I like reds, greens, golds, and silver decorations.

The sky while waiting for the bus to work @ Finch Station.  Probably around 6:50am.

 I truly love our dog. He gets me out walking. He is so sweet. He's my buddy.

These signs are on a lot of front lawns in the neighborhood and for good reason. Go to www.whyalaska.ca  & you'll see.  I read somewhere it was classified as egotistical architechture and that is a good description.  I think the design fits into the city somewhere, just not the Uptown Yonge neighbourhood.

My sunshine