Although I am grateful for every day, I just wish I could close my eyes and the next 2 months would pass. I want to wake up tomorrow morning and have it be June 1st. I have nothing against April or May, I love Spring. I'm just having a tough time as of late and my coping skills aren't what they once were.
I feel like that little mouse in a running wheel. I'm forever running and going nowhere. I've been getting into these funks when life gets tough, which seems to be more and more lately. I get worried when I find myself thinking, "Is this as good as it gets? Will it be like this forever?" I don't want to lose hope. Hope is huge. The pisser of it all is that what I crave is simplicity. Not ignorance, not burying my head in the sand, just simplicity. It shouldn't be this hard. I don't have big dreams. I don't dream of owning possessions. I don't care what kind of car the Jones's drive and if I won the lottery, I wouldn't buy an Elvis bust made of gold.
I think it's days like today where people of faith have one up. I wish I had blind faith. I wish I was certain that there is a God and that He has a plan for me. That I could take comfort in that. Instead, I'll cope as best as I can. Laugh as much as I can. Kiss and hug my husband as much as I can. Spend time with my parents. Find solace in the face and snorts of a happy Pug as I take him for walks and remind myself that this too shall pass.
I think I need chocolate. That'll make me feel better!
