Good Grief! No.....BAD Grief!!

Today was not such a good day.

My brain hasn't stopped since I was given a bit of news at work.

The only way to describe what has been going on in my head

for the last 9 hours is;

Woe

Chaos

Dread

Fear

Trepidation

Agitation

Worry

Angst

Distress

Apprehension

and Uneasiness 

I'm in a position where I have to make a decision.

As much as I dislike the Canadian Rock Institution that is RUSH,

Geddy Lee hit the nail on the head with the lyric,

" If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice."

It's almost like I need to pray or to meditate or to sit in a quiet

distraction free room and just really think. 

I need a really really big piece of paper, a pencil, a pencil sharpener and an eraser.

I need to write everything down as it comes, without worrying

that my writing is neat, I'm using correct grammar
or that what I am writing makes any sense. 

Then I have to listen and really hear the response I get from the Universe.

I wish I could ask advice from;

Gandalf 

Yoda

Kuato

Glenda the Good Witch

Dumbledore

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Galadriel

Aslan

The Man with the Yellow Hat

The Friendly Giant

Some fictional character that would magically provide me with the perfect

solution and all would just work out perfectly.

I consider myself an intelligent person.

I am logical.

I know who I am.

I have a healthy sense of self.

I am honest with myself.

I know what I like, I know what I don't like.

I know my strengths and my weaknesses.

One of my weaknesses that will be tested

is my lack of hearing my inner voice.

I tend to question my intuition.

During my commute home, I feared that I would not be

good company tonight.

I made an effort before I walked int he door to breathe, smile

and not be a Debbie Downer.

Adam did what Adam does.  He made me smile.

He made me laugh and he made me forget,

even for a few moments,

all the crap that is bumping around in my brain.

The trick will be getting to sleep tonight.

I'll have to put in The Lord of the Rings on DVD

and let Howard Shore's awesome score

assist me in getting to the REM stage of sleep.