My Muse

Dearest Blog, you are not forgotten.  Truth is, my little 4 legged fur bundle was my Muse. 

He used to sit with me as I sat here writing. I'd take a break and cuddle or play or nap with him. He lead me to the park and to the flowers I would photograph. We explored the neighbourhood, side streets, parkettes, and ravines together. I haven't been in the park or on a neighbourhood walk since he passed.

Today is the 1st day of Daylight Savings Time. It is also the first day in a long while that the temperature got above zero.  Today was perfect dog walking weather.

I had feelings of jealousy seeing people out with their dogs. Lucky bastards.

I miss Crockett everyday.  The last few weeks when I've come home or gone into the living room to sit down, I almost expect to see him sitting there looking up at me.

He was a sweet lovely Pug and companion.

Something I Learned

Today, I am taking down our Christmas Tree. I have learned that I never want to have a real Christmas Tree again.

Ours was small and beautiful and perfect. But as the days passed, I started to feel like it was stupid to cut down a tree to put in a home.  The poor thing started to sag and lighten in color. I watered it, but it was dying. What a waste of a tree. It belonged planted in the earth, thriving, a home for birds and critters.

I told my Mom that I reminded mysef of the blind date set up in the film Notting Hill for William. Kaziah, the Fruitarian:

Keziah:
We believe that fruits and vegetables
have feelings so we think cooking is
cruel.  We only eat things that have
actually fallen from the tree or bush
-- that are in fact, dead already.

Happy New Year 2015

I wish health and happiness to my family, friends, and all mankind in 2015.

For me, 2014 was a year spent in my head.  I did a lot of thinking and reflection. The world is changing, and not for the better. It is time I make the changes I need in order for my small life to make a difference.

We lost our sweet Crockett in August and that was the worst day of 2014.  My heart still hurts and I miss him terribly.


The next year is all about health for both Adam and I.  It will be a year of change, that will not be easy, but it is necessary, and will ultimately be incredibly rewarding.

I am optimistic about 2015 in a way that I haven't been for many years. I am ready for it, and hopeful.

Our First Real Tree

This is our first real Christmas tree ever.  Merry Christmas!

Snow and Paw Prints

We got our first snow of the season this past week.  It was always a time I looked forward to as Crockett loved it.  He would always go nuts and seem so happy to have snow under his feet after the hot asphalt of summer.

It was especially great the first few days before the salt trucks would make their way onto the roads and sidewalks.

Walking home in the evening I came upon a few paw prints in the snow and it made me cry. I miss Crockett. I miss his presence. I miss the joy he brought me. I even miss his snoring.  I haven't been able to go into the park yet. That may take a while longer.

At least I was photo happy and have wonderful memories of him. Here's his first snow of 2012!

Cryptic, but whatever

I dislike it when people update their Facebook status with a very cryptic message, and yet, here is my cryptic post.

I am writing this for myself so that when I read it back in the coming months or years or whenever, I'll remember how I feel at this exact moment.

Today, I am happier than I have been in what feels like a very long time.  Everyday life, stress, finances, all those things have not changed. I've changed. More than just feeling happy or elated, I am feeling.

The difference is now when I look 12-24 months ahead, I have a clear vision. I have hope, anticipation, and confidence. I am allowing myself see that the things I want to achieve and do are attainable.

It feels good to take that first steps of a journey.

No, I'm not pregnant!

October 27, 2014 Municipal Election Day.

Today was just one of those days.  Every task seemed to take longer than it should.  There were too many things to take care of and not enough time.

Today is election day here in Toronto.  Finally our chance to get rid of Rob Ford and Doug Ford. FINALLY.

I will say however, that I did not vote strategically. I struggled with it for a good 4 weeks. Had plenty of discussions with family, read the candidates platforms, watched far too many debates, and spent a crazy amount of time on Twitter with my new community of anti-Ford, pro-Toronto Twitter friends. So many people are voting Tory to get rid of Ford. Believe me, I want to get rid of every member of the Ford family from Toronto politics and news, but I could not vote for a conservative. If there was no Ford in the race, I would NEVER vote for John Tory.  His Smart-track plan, in my opinion, is to move people from the suburbs into the city core and back home again.  He neglected the whole Northwest corner of the city where I spend 3 hours a day on a bus and where there is more than one priority neighbourhood. It is not a plan at all to help Torontonians move around the city.

My candidate is Olivia Chow.  I voted for who I want the Mayor of Toronto to be. Where I am in the world and life, she is my best representative. The polls close at 8pm so by 9pm.....I'm sick just thinking about it.

Today is one of those days where a 20 minute cuddle and fuss of Crockett would make my day perfect. I miss him every day. I miss him today.

I'm a Witch!

I decided to Halloween up my Facebook & Twitter pics :)  Halloween is on a Friday this year!  Perfect for all the kiddies and costume parties!

Fed Up - The Movie

Adam and I watched this documentary FED UP and wow, it was so terrifying. I have struggled for what seems like years, to become Vegetarian.  With nut allergies, and a host of other excuses really, I've not removed all meat and fish from my diet. Aside from the occasional  serving of Bacon, I have stopped eating Pork and Lamb.

I admit fully that once I get home from a long day and commute, it is easier to go to processed foods.  Also, what I take for lunch seems to be among the worst possible choices.

More than just getting to a body weight within the suggested BMI, or being able to fit into a certain goal size, I am interested in health.  What I want for my family and loved ones is health.

The truth is, nothing worth doing comes easy or without effort so, I best get a move on.

Wild Boar

Among the many treasures we brought home from my Father-In-Law's 2 weeks ago was a stuffed Wild Boar. It's about as big as a pineapple and it has a curly white tail.

One night, I came out of the loo and Adam had placed it on the floor facing the door.  The hallway light wasn't on and well.... it scared the living bejesus out of me and I let out a small scream.

On and off over the past week, the little critter has shown up outside the door, each time startling me.  I got Adam once at around 2am when I couldn't sleep.  He was up & went to the loo and I placed it just inside his office facing the door.  He was startled. He didn't scream, but I still got him.

Tonight again, I was coming out of the loo, not paying too much attention and thinking about a million things, and there it was.  This time though, it really frightened me and I let out a high pitched scream.  Amazing what the brain does when it thinks it's seen a small critter.