Oh My Pugness....and a Corgi!

These Pugs all made me smile.

and a Corgi!

Tears and Flowers

Saturday was one of those days where anything and everything made cry. Not just watery eyes crying but full on tears rolling down my cheeks to the point where you fear snot is running down your face and you look like a 2 year old after a melt down.

To escape I took my camera & Crockett to the park.  About 20 minutes in, Crockett started to freak out and go after his back right paw. He either got bit by something or stepped on something sharp.  Which of course, made me cry.

 This Beetle or whatever it is just sat there not moving.  

Then he pooped out what is in the photo below & flew away. 

Interesting. I'm sure he felt better!

Just before the freak out.  Luckily coming home and soaking 

his feet in the tub did the trick. All was well.

My "Man Cave"

When the windows in our apartment were changed, we moved our bedroom. I am SO happy about that because it's a front room facing the street and it was just too loud to sleep with the window open. The result is that now Adam has his man cave and I have mine.  What is the female equivalent to a man cave?  Meditation/Arts & Crafts/Reading/Watching DVD/Ironing/Yoga/Escape from the World room? Whatever it's called, I have my own space.  I love Adam and love spending time with him, but having my own space...mine...all mine...awesome!

This past weekend, I had a bit of a tidy up.  I HATE clutter. Hate it. It shuts me down. To me a cluttered room is a cluttered mind. This room for the past couple of months has been nothing but cluttered. It might have to do also with my lack of blog posts lately.

Tonight, I did some laundry and thoroughly enjoyed spending time in here. So much so I went & grabbed my little companion.

The pillowcase cover hanging on the back of my chair is from my 70's childhood.  I have curtains to match but sadly, they don't fit my windows. Have to figure out an art project or something for them.

If I magically found $1000 overnight, it'd be a kick ass room by Monday. I know exactly how I'd like it but.....back to reality.  What I will to do is spend another 100+ hours on Pinterest to get ideas on how I can do this without spending any money! Although, I'd love to have a funky print wallpapered on 1 wall.

We got the Ikea catalog in the mail today. That is to me now what the Sears Christmas Catalog was to me in the 70's.

It truly is amazing the effect a clean tidy room can have on my mental well-being.

Time

This 1st half  of this quote hits home how I've felt the last little while:

"Idleness makes hours pass slowly and years swiftly. Activity makes the hours short and the years long."  Cesare Pavese, This Business of Living, 1938-12-10

One of my many Summer 2013 flower shots taken at Alexander Muir Park.

I would like to turn things around and have the 2nd half of this quote feel more like my life.  Is is so easy to get into a funk & be negative.  If only it were as easy to get out of.

There are always several factors. Life wouldn't be life if one thing would fix everything. I do feel that attitude plays a big role and I will be the first to admit that my attitude as of late has been more pessimistic than optimistic. The blues have a good way of giving me an extra kick in the ass when I'm already down.

It's be a very life altering 4 months.  I am full of gratitude when it comes to my Mom. I still reflect on how all things happened the way they did resulting in the BEST possible outcome. But then, my Mother has never done anything but put good out into the Universe so....

My eyes have caused me great fear, anxiety, and frustration. I have had several dizzy episodes in the last few weeks.  Scanning or moving my eyes quickly from side to side makes me feel like I've just stepped off a merry-go-round. Once I get tired, that's it, I'm done.  What has got to me the most and creates the greatest amount of worry is my inability to read for any length of time. I have to stop myself from going off on "what if" worry tangents. They are never good.

Back to the 1st half of the quote, "Idleness makes hours pass slowly and years swiftly."
I have not been idle, but what I have been spending the majority of my waking hours doing, has not been living.

I compare it to the way of life in Montreal vs. Toronto. This is of course from my personal experience.  Montreal is more about family, friends, community, activity, enjoying life.  Working to live.  Where Toronto is about status, who has the best toys, the biggest house, the better career. Living to work.

I do NOT fit into the Toronto mind set. I have NEVER ever wanted to have it all. I can say that my middle class suburban up-bringing was perfect.  Sadly, I don't see too much of that around here.  We lived in this apartment for 2 years before I ever saw our neighbor! Crazy!

I do realize that I was in my early 20's when I left Montreal but still.  The best way I can describe it is Toronto is more American where Montreal is more European.

One thing that I do like about Toronto is the multiculturalism and how different cultures can live and celebrate diversify. Sadly right now, Toronto has a Mayor who is, well, an asshat. I don't want to ever get into that now!

Here's another quote/image I posted on my Facebook page that hit a nerve:

I guess I have to think of another quote when I start to piss and moan and feel bad about my life.

Life is what you make it.

I have some making to do.

Stress is a MuthaFucka Man

I have probably just gone through the worst most stressful 2 weeks of work in my life.  I know that I can't piss and moan about my job because only I can change it.  That being said, there are times you have options, and times you don't. A good way to look at it is, "unless you've walked a mile in her shoes....".  I will say that in life there are "wants to's", and "have to's". I am in "have to's" and it's killing me.

Yesterday I woke up early and took Crockett for a real nice long walk. We walked to the corner store, I got myself a coffee and an extra cup for the water fountain for Crockett. I took photos, went off the beaten path, and just sat in nature.  When we got back in, my body and brain shut down, I laid down, wrapped myself in a soft comfy blanket and slept. No time constraints, no alarm clock set, just slept.

Today I woke up early again, took Crockett for a nice, but not as long as yesterday, walk.  Then I poked around online, checked some funnies and ate a leisurely bowl of Cheerios and Banana.

I walked down to Eglinton (1.7 kms) as I was meeting my folks to spend the day with them.  It was a perfect day.  Sun was out, great breeze, no humidity. My Mom puttered around in the garden, I sat in the Sun and then, surprize, fell asleep, and my Dad walked down to the LCBO to buy a few beers.

It's 9pm Sunday night.  I'm doing everything in my power to NOT get the Sunday Night Blues. If I had it my way, I'd NEVER go to work again.  There are so many valuable and meaningful things I'd rather do with my time but, those "have to's" just won't go away.

Here are a few of the photos I took on my walk yesterday morning.  The Flower Bee is my favorite and we spent about 10 minutes sitting on a bench watching the old dears playing Croquet at the Lawn Bowling Club.

Sky Friday July 19th, 2013

After a week of weather that makes me wish for winter, we had an amazing pre-storm sky.  I was sitting in the living room and saw a warm orange pink hue coming in the west facing kitchen window.

I grabbed my camera and Crockett and these shots below are all from a 10 minute stroll within one block from our apartment. The sky, clouds, and colors were changing so fast.

An Update, Some Flowers, and an Awesome Pug.

My eyes are at about 80%.  This morning before I took Crockett for our Saturday morning walk, I checked my e-mail and got very dizzy from moving my eyes back and forth too quickly while reading.

I still haven't been able to read a book and watching TV is really only comfortable for about an hour at a time.  It is frustrating but I am thankful that I got my vision back to where it is right now.

I went to the Neurological Ophthalmologist on Thursday. He thinks it might be my Sarcoidosis, but will need to do a few more tests, one being another MRI. Crap. I do have signs of Sarcoidosis on my skin. It's scary to think of it in my eyes or my brain! Time (and tests) will tell.

On my walk this morning with Crockett, with my dizziness, I wasn't feeling all that great.  Along with quite a few eye shots to see if they were wonky, I took some nice flower and Crockett shots.

 and.....we're done.