I missed April

There is a sort of guilt I feel for not updating my blog more often.  Not because I feel beholden to anyone other than myself.

I can't believe I missed all of April 2014!  I am THANKFUL that April was uneventful.  It was April of last year that my Mom had her heart attack and I had my hospitailzation due to my vision.

My Mom is fantastic - in better health than anyone I know.  I'm happy the weather has turned so she can start going out for her walks as that made her feel better.

My eyes are not back to 100%.  Some days they are at 90% and some days at about 70%. I try not to talk about it too much. Talking about it makes it more real and scary as hell.  Better to suffer in silence at times. It's tough when you open your eyes and you just can't see properly.

Today is Mother's Day.  A day with extra special meaning.  I have 2 ladies that are responsible for my life. My birth mother and my mother. I am the luckiest in that department and wouldn't have it any other way.

It's an odd feeling being 45 myself and not being a mother.  Not how I thought things would turn out for me.  Being adopted had a very significant impact on me for many aspects of life, specifically procreation. Not a damaging impact, just a very significant impact. One that I can't put into words but that is clear in my own mind.

So today I'll relish in being Crockett's caregiver and know that in my own way, I've impacted a few 4 legged lives in a maternal way.

Today is also my Adam's birthday. What a perfect day.