Humid Overcast Saturday

We've had very humid weather again for the past few days. Sadly for me it is headache inducing.  I took Thursday & Friday off work for an extra-long long weekend.

I had my MRI on Thursday morning.  I only moved once but it was still scary as hell for me. I have my follow up with the Neuro-Ophthamologist next week so I hope he can figure out what happened and what is wrong with my eyes.  I no longer have double vision but they haven't gone back to normal.  It is the hardest thing to try to explain.  All I can say to anyone is, don't take your eyesight for granted.  Don't take anything for granted for that matter.

Hopefully it's going to rain this afternoon & take some of the humidity with it.  It's too hot for pugs outside today so we only had a short walk in the park. Today, I feel it in my bones, is going to be a lazy day.

Oh My Pugness....and a Corgi!

These Pugs all made me smile.

and a Corgi!

Tears and Flowers

Saturday was one of those days where anything and everything made cry. Not just watery eyes crying but full on tears rolling down my cheeks to the point where you fear snot is running down your face and you look like a 2 year old after a melt down.

To escape I took my camera & Crockett to the park.  About 20 minutes in, Crockett started to freak out and go after his back right paw. He either got bit by something or stepped on something sharp.  Which of course, made me cry.

 This Beetle or whatever it is just sat there not moving.  

Then he pooped out what is in the photo below & flew away. 

Interesting. I'm sure he felt better!

Just before the freak out.  Luckily coming home and soaking 

his feet in the tub did the trick. All was well.

My "Man Cave"

When the windows in our apartment were changed, we moved our bedroom. I am SO happy about that because it's a front room facing the street and it was just too loud to sleep with the window open. The result is that now Adam has his man cave and I have mine.  What is the female equivalent to a man cave?  Meditation/Arts & Crafts/Reading/Watching DVD/Ironing/Yoga/Escape from the World room? Whatever it's called, I have my own space.  I love Adam and love spending time with him, but having my own space...mine...all mine...awesome!

This past weekend, I had a bit of a tidy up.  I HATE clutter. Hate it. It shuts me down. To me a cluttered room is a cluttered mind. This room for the past couple of months has been nothing but cluttered. It might have to do also with my lack of blog posts lately.

Tonight, I did some laundry and thoroughly enjoyed spending time in here. So much so I went & grabbed my little companion.

The pillowcase cover hanging on the back of my chair is from my 70's childhood.  I have curtains to match but sadly, they don't fit my windows. Have to figure out an art project or something for them.

If I magically found $1000 overnight, it'd be a kick ass room by Monday. I know exactly how I'd like it but.....back to reality.  What I will to do is spend another 100+ hours on Pinterest to get ideas on how I can do this without spending any money! Although, I'd love to have a funky print wallpapered on 1 wall.

We got the Ikea catalog in the mail today. That is to me now what the Sears Christmas Catalog was to me in the 70's.

It truly is amazing the effect a clean tidy room can have on my mental well-being.

Time

This 1st half  of this quote hits home how I've felt the last little while:

"Idleness makes hours pass slowly and years swiftly. Activity makes the hours short and the years long."  Cesare Pavese, This Business of Living, 1938-12-10

One of my many Summer 2013 flower shots taken at Alexander Muir Park.

I would like to turn things around and have the 2nd half of this quote feel more like my life.  Is is so easy to get into a funk & be negative.  If only it were as easy to get out of.

There are always several factors. Life wouldn't be life if one thing would fix everything. I do feel that attitude plays a big role and I will be the first to admit that my attitude as of late has been more pessimistic than optimistic. The blues have a good way of giving me an extra kick in the ass when I'm already down.

It's be a very life altering 4 months.  I am full of gratitude when it comes to my Mom. I still reflect on how all things happened the way they did resulting in the BEST possible outcome. But then, my Mother has never done anything but put good out into the Universe so....

My eyes have caused me great fear, anxiety, and frustration. I have had several dizzy episodes in the last few weeks.  Scanning or moving my eyes quickly from side to side makes me feel like I've just stepped off a merry-go-round. Once I get tired, that's it, I'm done.  What has got to me the most and creates the greatest amount of worry is my inability to read for any length of time. I have to stop myself from going off on "what if" worry tangents. They are never good.

Back to the 1st half of the quote, "Idleness makes hours pass slowly and years swiftly."
I have not been idle, but what I have been spending the majority of my waking hours doing, has not been living.

I compare it to the way of life in Montreal vs. Toronto. This is of course from my personal experience.  Montreal is more about family, friends, community, activity, enjoying life.  Working to live.  Where Toronto is about status, who has the best toys, the biggest house, the better career. Living to work.

I do NOT fit into the Toronto mind set. I have NEVER ever wanted to have it all. I can say that my middle class suburban up-bringing was perfect.  Sadly, I don't see too much of that around here.  We lived in this apartment for 2 years before I ever saw our neighbor! Crazy!

I do realize that I was in my early 20's when I left Montreal but still.  The best way I can describe it is Toronto is more American where Montreal is more European.

One thing that I do like about Toronto is the multiculturalism and how different cultures can live and celebrate diversify. Sadly right now, Toronto has a Mayor who is, well, an asshat. I don't want to ever get into that now!

Here's another quote/image I posted on my Facebook page that hit a nerve:

I guess I have to think of another quote when I start to piss and moan and feel bad about my life.

Life is what you make it.

I have some making to do.