Creativity Is At An All Time Low

My laptop has been back on Adam's desk in his man cave for a little over a month.  Just a few months after getting an overhaul, he went to turn on his precious one day and lo and behold, she did not respond.  He is in need of a new motherboard and a bunch of other things that cost too much money for us to pay for right now.

The result is again, I feel out of sorts.  My blog is almost like my therapist.  It was where I could sit down, in a corner nook of our room and let myself go.  The second I walk into this room, my creativity dies.  It is a dark room, not a lot of natural light and it is painted a dark chocolate brown.

Add to that the clutter - empty soda cans and gum wrappers.  Luckily, he knows how crazy mental I get when there is too much clutter.  It shuts me down and I become a very miserable person to live with.

I am also dealing with something in my head that is blocking me.  Jenn.  She passed away on Jan 7th.  I've been having difficulty organizing my thoughts when I write and when I sit down to write, it always goes back to how I am coping and dealing with her passing.  I know I need to write about it.  I have things I want to say. She pops up in my dreams as well as my awake time.  I think not going to Dorval and attending her service makes it still not seem real, but it's the many reasons for not going that I need to work through by writing.

Hopefully my 6/49 ticket for next Wednesday's draw will be the big winner so Adam can get his computer back, I can reclaim my laptop as my own and I can get over this hump and help myself. Also a million dollars in the bank would be golden.

Until then, I'll keep on waking up, putting one foot in front of the other, doing what needs to be done and bring home the bacon.

Today, I think I slept through the marathon that passed right by my bedroom window. I think the lack of traffic noise helped me get into a deeper sleep plus we both had an awful night sleep.  As soon as I got up, I grabbed Crockett and went to the park. It was cold and damp and windy. Not a good weather day.

Here are some photos of our walk.

This pisses me off. Seriously, the garbage can is not 3 feet away.

I think the Magnolia tree bloomed too early.  I hope it lasts.

Our dear sweet Crockett is starting to look like an old man. He's so grey!  He's 8 years old which is what in dog years? He is a sweetheart of a Pug and Adam & I love him to death.